Japan Defends Decision to Provide Godzilla with Marijuana, Despite PETGA Protests

Tokyo, Japan — A prominent animal rights group, People for the Ethical Treatment of Gargantuan Animals (PETGA), has filed a formal protest against the Japanese government, condemning their decision to provide marijuana to Godzilla. The group claims the move is unethical and sets a dangerous precedent for the treatment of giant, radioactive reptiles.

The Protest

PETGA’s spokesperson expressed outrage: "Godzilla is not just some monster; he’s a sentient being and a cultural icon. Sedating him with marijuana violates his dignity and autonomy. This isn’t treatment—it’s exploitation."

Japan’s Response

Japanese officials, however, are unperturbed by the criticism. "Let’s not forget that Godzilla has caused untold destruction since 1954," stated Prime Minister Fumio Kishida during a press conference. "While we respect diverse opinions, this measure has significantly reduced his destructive behavior and improved safety for our citizens. We believe this is a pragmatic solution to a monumental problem."

A New Strategy

Japan introduced the marijuana regimen after decades of failed attempts to contain Godzilla. Studies by the Kaiju Research Institute suggest the substance has helped temper the King of Monsters’ infamous temper tantrums. In the last year alone, rampages have dropped by 80%, according to government reports.

Public Debate

While PETGA raises ethical concerns, many Japanese citizens see this as a necessary compromise. Viral images of Godzilla smoking casually—believed to be part of his stress-reduction routine—have only added fuel to the debate. Supporters of the initiative argue, "If Godzilla is chill, we’re chill."

Prime Minister Kishida pushed back against international criticism, stating, "It's easy for Americans and other foreigners to judge us from afar, but they don't have to live with Godzilla. The people of Tokyo and Japan endure the destruction, the rebuilding, and the constant threat. This decision is about protecting our citizens and creating a livable future, even if it means thinking outside the box."

President Donald Trump weighed in on the controversy, stating, "I completely agree with Prime Minister Kishida. Godzilla is a tremendous problem, a huge problem—believe me, I know problems. Japan is doing what they have to do, and frankly, I think it’s a smart move. PETGA should mind their own business and let Japan handle their own monster."

What’s Next?

As the controversy rages on, Japan’s government remains committed to its kaiju-calming strategy. Prime Minister Kishida concluded, "We do not take these decisions lightly. We are striving for peaceful coexistence—one skyscraper at a time."

PETGA, undeterred, has vowed to continue their advocacy. However, critics of the organization have questioned their commitment after Godzilla, reportedly in a fit of tobacco withdrawal-fueled rage, flattened their headquarters last Tuesday. Despite the setback, PETGA insists it will rebuild and continue its fight for giant animal rights.