Judge Boasberg Orders Return of Xenomorphs Deported by ICE

U.S. District Judge James Boasberg has done it again, this time he has ordered the return of xenomorphs deported by ICE under Border Czar Tom Homan. The controversial program, which involved using SpaceX rockets to export the extraterrestrial creatures off-planet, was initially hailed as a bold solution to the facehugger infestation plaguing the nation. However, the judge’s ruling has reignited fierce debate over immigration policy—both terrestrial and interstellar.

Democrat leaders, including Rep. Jasmine Crockett and Sen. Chuck Schumer, have come to the defense of the xenomorphs, arguing that they are “hardworking aliens” who deserve a chance to contribute to the economy. “These beings have been unfairly demonized,” Crockett said during a press conference. “Yes, they may have a unique reproductive process, but who among us doesn’t have quirks? They deserve the same opportunities as anyone else.”

Schumer echoed her sentiments, stating, “The xenomorphs are just trying to build a better life for themselves and their chestbursters. Deporting them to the far reaches of space is not who we are as a nation.”

Judge Boasberg, unfazed by the logistical challenges, defended his ruling with his trademark stoicism. “The law applies to all beings, regardless of their planet of origin,” Boasberg wrote. “ICE cannot simply launch individuals into the void without due process.”

Tom Homan, however, defended the program, calling it “the most effective alien removal operation in history.” “We’re not talking about dreamers here,” Homan said. “These are literal acid-blooded killing machines. Sending them off-planet was the safest option for everyone involved.”

In an interview with Fox News, Tom Homan fired back at critics with a scathing remark: “Nobody on the left seems to care about the effect these xenomorphs have on American citizens. Where’s their concern for the hardworking Americans being used for gestation, incubation, and food by these illegal xenomorphs? It’s outrageous.” Homan’s comments have sparked heated debate, with some accusing him of fearmongering and racism, while others praise his blunt assessment of the extraterrestrial threat.

Elon Musk has weighed in, claiming that the SpaceX rockets carrying the xenomorphs are now traveling so rapidly away from Earth that turning them around would take approximately 280 years. “It’s not a matter of technology—it’s physics,” Musk explained. “I sent them a tweet, but they haven’t responded. Once they’re out there, they’re out there. I’d suggest Judge Boasberg invest in a telescope.”

Adding fuel to the controversy, Rep. Rosa DeLauro (D-Conn.), a prominent Democrat and ranking member of the House Appropriations Committee, accused Elon Musk of profiting from the deportation program through lucrative government contracts. “It’s deeply troubling that Musk’s SpaceX rockets, funded by taxpayer dollars, are being used for these morally questionable missions,” DeLauro said in a fiery statement. “This isn’t about justice—it’s about lining the pockets of billionaires at the expense of human rights. Musk’s cozy relationship with government funding raises serious ethical concerns, and Congress must investigate.”

Meanwhile, President Trump weighed in on the controversy, accusing Boasberg of being an “activist judge” who is interfering with Americans’ safety, and promising to appeal the ruling. “We’ll fight this all the way to the Supreme Court,” Trump said. “These xenomorphs are bad news, folks. Acid blood, facehuggers—it’s a disaster. But we’ll win, believe me.”