Press Conference Report: Democrats Explain State of the Union Behavior

In a press conference held earlier today, Democratic leaders Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries addressed the media to explain their party's behavior during the recent State of the Union address.

Senator Chuck Schumer began by addressing why many Democrats remained seated during key moments of the speech. "Our knees were hurting, that's why we didn't stand," he explained. "It's not that we didn't support the President's points; we just couldn't physically get up."

When a reporter asked why Representative Al Green interrupted the beginning of the speech, Democrat Chuck Schumer explained, "He was asking President Trump to hold off on his speech. He was simply asking for directions to the bathroom."

When a reporter asked why the Democrats didn't clap during the address, Hakeem Jeffries responded, "We have arthritis really, really, really, really bad. Clapping would have been excruciating for many of us."

Another reporter posed the pointed question, "Why didn't any of you smile during the President's speech?" The response was equally unexpected. "Many of us had just had plastic surgery and Botox injections," Jeffries said. "Our faces were still recovering, and smiling was simply not an option."

Another reporter inquired why the Democrats left in such a huff. "They really, really, really, really had to go to the bathroom."

The final question of the press conference came from a reporter who asked why the Democrats held paddles and signs stating "False." Schumer and Jeffries quickly ran out of the room, claiming they really really really really had to go to the bathroom.