Scientists at IOC release study

In a groundbreaking study, researchers at the Institute of Obvious Conclusions (IOC) have proven what every basement-dwelling keyboard warrior already knew: posting a picture of a gorgeous, attractive woman on any social media platform is the digital equivalent of waving a red flag at a herd of bulls.

The study, titled “A Quantitative Analysis of Male Predictability,” involved showing 1,000 men a series of social media posts featuring various images: a cute puppy, a graph of rising sea levels, and a woman in a barely-there bikini holding a margarita. The results were staggering—98% of participants clicked the bikini post, with 73% admitting they didn’t even read the caption. “I saw tan lines and a cocktail,” said one participant, Chad B., 28. “Wait, there was a caption?”

Lead researcher Dr. Ivana Schmergenberg explained that men will click on any picture of an attractive woman, regardless of context. One test post featured a bikini-clad model holding a sign that read “Click here for information on corn production in Yugoslavia,” and it still racked up 14,000 engagements in under an hour.

Women, meanwhile, were less predictable. Only 42% clicked on posts featuring attractive women, with many citing “curiosity about her skincare routine” rather than primal urges. “Men are simple creatures,” Dr. Schmergenberg noted. “Show them a pretty face, and they’ll smash that like button faster than you can say ‘peer-reviewed.’”

Rumor has it Elon Musk is considering an “Attractive Woman Filter” for X to auto-boost posts featuring high cheekbones and low necklines.

Critics, however, warn of a dystopian future where every post is just a parade of scantily clad models hawking crypto scams and diet teas. “This isn’t science—it’s pandering,” grumbled Dr. Ernest Dullard of the Institute of Boring Truths. “What’s next? Studies proving water is wet?” (Spoiler: The IOC has that one slated for 2026.)

For more information, click the link below. Oh, who are we kidding… Nobody’s going to read this article. We’re just going to get a rash of complaints that there wasn’t a bunch of hotties on this page.

I’m not even bothering to finish this.