Star Wars: A Lost Hope

Recent reports have surfaced suggesting that Lucasfilm has secretly developed groundbreaking cloning technology weaponized against financial wisdom, common sense, and hope for the fandom.

Much like the Emperor, Kennedy has employed a shadowy combination of Sith alchemy and advanced science which will allow her to cheat death and continue to reign for all time, long after her welcome has worn out, which was about ten years ago.

“It’s possible this has already been used,” confided one employee on the condition of anonymity. “We believe this is how she has lasted so long. It’s as though millions of voices cried out in hope, then in terror, and were suddenly silenced.”

“It was I who allowed the rumors of my departure to reach the critics, but my position is quite safe you’re your pitiful little fandom,” Kennedy said at a press conference. "The film industry is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… unnatural."